Note the armor we wore when presenting the cake to this week's winner

We present Vadim Ponorovsky, the owner of the Meatpacking district restaurant Paradou with the CAKEHEAD of the week award. He wanted spam and we give it to him, in the form of a Spam Cake. It's merely a small consolatory prize after his waitstaff failed him. He asked them to collect customer's email addresses and they didn't deliver.

Here is his response to their resounding failure:

To All,

Please read this email carefully. This is the last time we will be discussing this.

This weekend, saturday and sunday we had 451 customers. Guess how many emails we collected? 60? 80? 40? No. None of those. We, or more acurately you, collected 2 emails. Thats less than half of one percent. 2 fucking emails.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ASSHOLES?!?!?! How many times do we have to tell you how important it is that you collect emails. Everytime we have a slow night and you make no money and you sit there bitching about how you make no money, remember its because youre fucking lazy motherfuckers. YOU SHOULD ALL BE FIRED IMMEDIATELY!!!!! ALL OF YOU, INCLUDING THE HOSTS!!!!

[from Gawker]

The waitstaff failed to provide the ingredients for a spam cake so we went ahead and baked the cake ourselves. However, we will not be providing our email address to Paradou anytime soon.