The market has crashed and so should you. Crash your friends' holiday parties, that is. We have already lined up a whole roster of holiday parties that were booked before the official recession announcement was made. We're not going to disclose where we've been or where you're going. We just wanted to pass along this recession-era activity tip.

We will keep you updated with reports of who is serving up the most lavish food spreads and where the liquor flows most abundantly. Even if you aren't liquid, it doesn't mean you should slurp up the liquid.