The Merrill Howard Kalin Show is our new favorite cooking show. There is speculation that the host of this public access cooking show broadcast out of Palatine, Illinois is not actually mentally retarded. It almost doesn't matter if he is or not. Whether Merrill is slamming down lettuce heads for salad, piling chopped fruit on jiggling jello or preparing chicken, his approach and commentary guarantees to entertain.

This video is the holy grail brain bomb of public access television. So much so that you need to watch it all in complete silence, possibly more than once, to really pick up on every subtle and bizarre nuance. It could use a commentary track, really. Every dish he tries to make is a disaster, every prep technique he uses is either wrong or flat-out dangerous, and then, just when the ship really starts sinking, he starts in with the impersonations. You can rationalize laughing at this video by saying you're laughing WITH him, but remember: no matter how you justify it, if you laugh at this video you are going to hell.

[Cracked.com via Kevin K.]