Violating Food: Melon Balls & Salted Snails
Making Melon Eyes
We've seen a lot of food violations this week.
First there were the liver and melons. When the Parent's Television Council awarded Two and a Half Men with the Worst TV Show of the Week Award we weren't going to protest despite never having seen the show. We assumed it was for obvious reasons, like it's just a bad show. But then we did a little research and discovered it was because the episode which aired on January 22, 2007 "contained dialog about bestiality and having sex with vegetables."
We were intrigued. Here's a sample of the dialogue in question:
Charlie: "Huh, more awkward then when you were a kid and had to explain to Mom why you were hiding a slab of raw liver in your sock drawer?"
Alan: "Okay the second most awkward."
Charlie: "What about when she found the warm cantaloupe with the face drawn on it."
Somehow liver translates to bestiality and melons are now considered a vegetable?
We're always amazed with the ingenuity of boys. But turns out this isn't a culture limited to teenage boys. Advertisers for Nike now engage in melon violation to promote their golf ball sales:
Read more about melon shagging here.
[via WFMU]
And if you've stumbled to this site just looking for good clean fun with melons, click here.
Then there were the snails. In Cripsin Glover's current film project, What Is It? audiences watch a protagonist whose principle interests are snails, salt, a pipe, and how to get home. When the salt is poured on the snails and they shrivel into their shells we felt our hearts shrivel dry watching the torture. We even came close to ending our hunt for perfect escargot. But in his live presentation that lasted over an hour, Crispin talked about his desire as a filmmaker to create a film that doesn't provide commentary on what is good and evil. We had to forgive him for the snail killings. We're so tired of the studios stuffing good versus evil down our throats without allowing any room for ambiguity or motivations for committing evil. Then he said his only regret in making the film was that the snails were harmed. We had to love him even more.
Watch the salting of the snails in the What Is It? trailer.
