Sweatin' to the Old Testament
We at Cakehead have tried to pray away our love handles and superfluous booty, but somehow our attempts have failed. Jesus just keeps leading us into cake temptation. But now we're convinced that maybe our failure was a result of our insincere intent. We're not true believers adhering to true Christian diets.
Obviously, the true believers have had more success than we have. If you get a book deal it must work, right? EvangelicalRight.com turned us on to an article about Christian diets, in the LA Times. Here are some of our favorite Christian diet titles:
"Slim for Him," "Help Lord — The Devil Wants Me Fat!" "More of Jesus, Less of Me" "Body by God" and "What Would Jesus Eat?"
We've given our cakehead sermons about gluttony being a sin for years (think trough-like buffet spreads). It seems that the Christians are finally getting around to realizing their blasphamous ways.
Another conflict is that the church's attitude toward eating is not consistently one of moderation and temperance. Abundant food is a prominent feature of Christmas and Easter celebrations. And most Christians are familiar with post-sermon coffee-and-doughnut hours, church-sponsored potlucks and horn-o-plenty picnics and luncheons. Food, in fact, is a sort of rare vice for many Christians."The Bible teaches us Christians shouldn't drink in excess, they shouldn't go out and party, they shouldn't commit fornication and adultery, and they shouldn't smoke," Colbert says. "But by golly, they're going to eat anything they want to."
Yet adherents of faith-based diets argue that a fit, healthy body is the best tool with which to do God's work on earth.
Here's an inspirational quote for those of you trying to burn away the love handles:
Corinthians 9:24: "Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it."
