From the world of Rude Food
Anis kockens is merely the tip of the iceberg in the world of Rude Food
Thanks to milkandcookies.com for pointing us to the best site for Rude Food. You will find an extensive listing of dirty dirty food.
Name: Anis Kockens
Kockens Anis
Bought in: Sweden
I wasn't sure whether this should be categorised under Anis or Kockens. In the end I decided to 'go with the anis', by which unfortunate term I mean to convey nothing more than that I didn't have anything else beginning with 'a'. The 'ens' suffix on Kockens makes it the definite article, so it should be read roughly as 'arse the cock' or 'the cock arse'. Treat yourself to a partial translation and things don't get any better - you're left with either 'arse the chefs', or 'the chef's anus'.In truth, of course, anis means aniseed, but I'm happy to gloss over that if you are.
Other favorites from the site are:
Name: Çemen
Bought in: England
Origin: Turkey
Longbones picked this up in a Turkish delicatessen just around the corner. It appears to be a Turkish food imported to England from a German manufacturer. Its nature is still alien to me; the label translates roughly from German as Turkish condiment, whilst the ingredients merely proclaim the presence of 'spices', salt, preservative and colouring. My own experience suggests there is a fair bit of paprika in there, and maybe some chilli, but apart from that all I can say is it is a fairly bitter red paste which I can find little use for. Longbones says he thinks you are supposed to dip your sausage into Çemen, but that doesn't sound like a passtime I'd encourage. UPDATE: Peter tells me that the label actually translates as 'Turkish spice mixture'.
Vergina
Bought in: Greece
Macedonian it says on the tin, but Greek it is, as the Komotini address testifies. Woody found this whilst on holiday. 'It does have an inviting taste,' he advises, but goes on to caution that the phrase 'you are what you drink' sprang to his mind.
I've never had the pleasure of supping on a Vergina, but I'm sure it would be best served in a furry cup. I'll get onto my Greek agent and see if he can fetch me a can when he returns after Christmas; if so, I'll give you an appraisal.
Right, down to business. Vergina is most likely not intended as a cheeky genital mis-spelling, but is almost certainly named after the ancient Macedonian town of Vergina, believed to have formerly been the capital Aigai, and home to the Tomb of Persephone.
Name: Bum Bum
Bought in: France
I've got a shite joke forming which involves Gaytime and Bum Bum, but I'm going to try and write something else quickly before it gets fully formed. Paul and Jane took great trouble to track this down on a recent holiday, and I've just had an email offering the possibility of a stawberry flavour version from Germany (the homeland of Bum Bum). But banana, as everyone knows, is the rudest of the fruits. Unless you count cucumbers, which cannot be disqualified on technical grounds.Specs? It's an ice cream lolly with a stick of chewing gum in the middle - sheer marketing genius.
Anyway, if you don't fancy a whole Gaytime to yourself, perhaps you'd care to share my Bum Bum? (oops - sorry)
