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July 29, 2005

The best place to picnic

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East River Amphitheatre, NYC

It's picnic time again. With the heatwave gone, pack your baskets with provisions and head to the best kept outdoor performance space secret in all of Manhattan: the shady East River Park Amphitheatre overlooking the East River. This Saturday's free concert is not to be missed. Thanks again to FREEWilliamsburg.com for another smashing Slumming It tip! Check out FREEWilliamsburg.com for some free MP3 samples of the music.

WHEN: Saturday July 30th - 2-6pm PRICE: Free admission WHERE: East River Park Amphitheatre just south of the Williamsburg Bridge on the Manhattan side SUBWAY: F or JMZ to Essex / Delancey

-- DJ Brian Turner
-- Tall Firs
-- Oxford Collapse
-- Oneida

Posted by Cakehead at 07:25 PM | Comments (1)

A lush's paradise: The best website ever

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Of course we were aware of the need for this site. We're sure you were too. But it's simply too much work to keep up with where to find the best drinking deals in town every night. Now this service is provided free of charge by the lovely folks at MyOpenBar.com. What better use of webspace than to provide a centralize listing of open bars around the city. Thanks to FREEWilliamsburg.com for leading us to this amazing resource.

Our picks are:

Every Night
The Trash Bar
Williamsburg
256 Grand St. between Driggs and Roebling, Brooklyn NY 11211, 718-599-1000.
The Deal: 9-10pm Open well drinks bar with $5 cover, free tater-tots with any drink order. Easy hang.

Bar 4
Park Slope/Prospect Hts
444 Seventh Ave. at 15th St. 718-832-9800.
The Deal: 6pm-3:30am $15 for unlimited PBRs and Yeunglings. They give you the change in quarters so you can play Galaga or Pacman all day! Drunk!
___

Friday, July 29

Royal Oak
Williamsburg
Union and Richardson
The Deal: Blanomonium presents mash-ups, remixes and a bunch of other cool hipster crap. 11-12pm Open bar. This is a great Billyburg spot for finding the latest in deck hair-styling.

Girls' Room
Lower East Side
210 Rivington (Ridge and Pitt) NYC, 212.677.6149
The Deal: 10-11pm Open bar. Girls only, if you know what I mean...

Like Yesterday show at the Pianos Bar
Lower East Side
158 Ludlow and Stanton, NY 10002, 212.505.3733.
Showtime: 10:30 pm. Open vodka bar 9-10pm with $10 entry to the show.
After-party at the Orchard Bar, 200 Orchard St. and Houston, with Tarts of Pleasure spinning, spinning, spinning towards a higher income bracket...
___

Saturday, July 30

MisShapes/Luke and Leroy's West Village
21 7th Ave S, New York 10014
The Deal: Open beer bar 11pm - 12am, $3 Mixed Drinks 10pm-12am.

Posted by Cakehead at 06:57 PM | Comments (0)

July 28, 2005

Bombes for Dessert: Don't bring this cake on the subway

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Bomb Birthday. Love, the Chic Mormons

We love that the Mormons are promoting bomb birthday parties. Actually, it sounds like a lot of fun. Certainly more enjoyable than riding the New York subway these days. [From MormonChic.com]:

Bomb Invitations: Supplies: - Water balloon - Old newspaper - Flour (1) Blow up a small water balloon and papier-mâché around it using a 50/50 flour-water paste. (2) Once dry, pop the balloon, cut a small 3/4 inch hole in the top. (3) Paint the ‘bomb’ black. (4) Print out strips of paper with your party info on it and stick it in the ‘bomb’ with the end sticking out. (5) Add a fuse with a pipe cleaner and sparks with colored paper and you are ready to deliver.

Party Game - Find the Bomb Cake: When guests arrive tell them the cake has been stolen, and the thief has left clues for them to recover the missing items. The hunt will be the main game for this party. About an hour before the party, hide 10-12 clues around the area of your party. Some of your clues could be in code and others in rhyme. If you plan on having quite a few guests, have them divided into teams. The envelopes containing the clues should be in a different color for each team; the blue team, the red team, the green team, etc. Be sure to arm them with detective gear before the hunt.

This party is great at a park.

...A park or a subway platform. With the police force convinced that they're going to prevent a terrorist attack by peeking in the bags of potential bomb carriers, we are encouraging our readers to make a cake in the police officers' honor. With the summer temperatures what they are, and with the heat turned up in the world of subway security, we have decided that rather than turn on the oven and bake a cake, we will chill a cake. A cake that will send shivers down the spine in more ways than one. The cake we choose to make to award our public servants is an Ice Cream Bombe.

Be warned. Do not leave your house with this dessert. You will most certainly be detained indefinitely if law enforcement discovers this dessert in your hands.

Our favorite is the Watermelon Bombe:

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Watermelon Bombe

We turn to the wise ones at Joy of Baking for this delicious recipe. However, we recommend the following flavor substitutions:

Watermelon Rind: Pistachio instead of Lime
Watermelon Fruit: Raspberry Ice Cream instead of Sorbet

We also encourage you to make this a watermelon bombe with seeds -- chocolate seeds. To do this simply melt some dark chocolate. Pour the melted chocolate on waxed paper and smooth out to create a thin coating. Chill the chocolate. When chocolate has hardened, cut seed-shaped pieces out. Embed chocolate seeds in raspberry ice cream.

And if you are going to transport this cake by subway, be sure to know your rights as a citizen.

Posted by Cakehead at 04:48 PM | Comments (0)

July 27, 2005

For all you aspiring chefs: There's a great future in plastics. Think about it. Will you think about it?

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Resin taco

To all the burnt out food service workers we say, bid farewell to your abusive head chef. Flee the land where food rots and perishes. Leave the cooking behind. There's a career awaiting you with sane hours and a vibrant community of people who like to look at food...They just don't like to eat it. The world of plastic food manufacturing wants you for a lifelong career that tempts eyes, but not tastebuds.

June D. Barnard owns Decorate Your World, a company that offers a full catalog of artificial drinks, dishes and desserts. She says, the industry of artificial food production is "bursting with creativity and excitement."

Just look at all the delicious meals you can feast your eyes on. My mouth is watering just looking at that juicy acrylic margarita or that resin taco.

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acrylic margarita

Or if you're a big believer in breakfast, start your day off by eyeing this bagel with lox.

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”Bagel with lox sits securely on white glass dinnerware”

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"They look so real you'll run out to buy the real thing to eat! But you better not bite into one of these. They are only for pretend!"

Have a sweet tooth like Steven Segal and Fez from That ‘70s Show? These delicious chocolates are so realistic that they might even be enough to solve Fez’s Valentines Day dilemma:” [From the KELSO'S CAREER episode, Original Airdate on FOX: February 12, 2002]:

Hyde: (Walks up to Fez who has his back facing towards everyone) Hey Fez, how's it going with not eating the candy? Fez: (Turns around with chocolate all over his mouth) Fine, thank you. (Puts another chocolate in his mouth) ... Fez: (Pours more chocolate on one of Rhonda's chocolate candies) Oh no, I have to, I have to stop eating Rhonda's chocolates! (Puts the candy in his mouth) I'm hopeless! (Looks at the can of Hershey's chocolate and drinks out of it.) ...(Fez is sitting on the couch with one chocolate left in the box. He looks sad.) Fez: Rhonda's going to be so disappointed. All that remains is one lonely candy.

Posted by Cakehead at 11:15 PM | Comments (0)

Zen and the art of sipping sugar water

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Between Fez on That '70s Show who has a weakness for chocolate to Steven Segal with his penchant for day-glo sugar water, there are a lot of cakeheads coming out of the Hollywood's woodwork recently. Elliebear from Milkandcookies.com pointed us to the fact that Steven Segal not only manages to indulge his sweet tooth in every film he makes, but he also promotes one of the most vial drinks known to man. Watch here:

segaldew-1.jpg">Click here to view Quicktime clip

Is there anything more repulsive than the ingredients found in Mountain Dew?

Contains: Carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup and/or sugar, concentrated orange juice and other natural flavors, citric acid, sodium benzoate (preserves freshness), caffeine, sodium citrate, gum arabic, erythorbic acid (preserves freshness), calcium disodium EDTA (to protect flavor) and BROMINATED VEGETABLE OIL, yellow 5.

Yuck. Vegetable oil in soda? We strongly recommend that you avoid the recommendations of Steven Segal and instead take your beverage sipping cues from the other Product Placer.

Posted by Cakehead at 09:32 PM | Comments (0)

July 26, 2005

From the world of Rude Food

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Anis kockens is merely the tip of the iceberg in the world of Rude Food

Thanks to milkandcookies.com for pointing us to the best site for Rude Food. You will find an extensive listing of dirty dirty food.

Name: Anis Kockens
Kockens Anis
Bought in: Sweden
I wasn't sure whether this should be categorised under Anis or Kockens. In the end I decided to 'go with the anis', by which unfortunate term I mean to convey nothing more than that I didn't have anything else beginning with 'a'. The 'ens' suffix on Kockens makes it the definite article, so it should be read roughly as 'arse the cock' or 'the cock arse'. Treat yourself to a partial translation and things don't get any better - you're left with either 'arse the chefs', or 'the chef's anus'.

In truth, of course, anis means aniseed, but I'm happy to gloss over that if you are.

Other favorites from the site are:

cemen.jpg

Name: Çemen
Bought in: England
Origin: Turkey
Longbones picked this up in a Turkish delicatessen just around the corner. It appears to be a Turkish food imported to England from a German manufacturer. Its nature is still alien to me; the label translates roughly from German as Turkish condiment, whilst the ingredients merely proclaim the presence of 'spices', salt, preservative and colouring. My own experience suggests there is a fair bit of paprika in there, and maybe some chilli, but apart from that all I can say is it is a fairly bitter red paste which I can find little use for. Longbones says he thinks you are supposed to dip your sausage into Çemen, but that doesn't sound like a passtime I'd encourage. UPDATE: Peter tells me that the label actually translates as 'Turkish spice mixture'.

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Vergina

Name: Vergina
Bought in: Greece
Macedonian it says on the tin, but Greek it is, as the Komotini address testifies. Woody found this whilst on holiday. 'It does have an inviting taste,' he advises, but goes on to caution that the phrase 'you are what you drink' sprang to his mind.

I've never had the pleasure of supping on a Vergina, but I'm sure it would be best served in a furry cup. I'll get onto my Greek agent and see if he can fetch me a can when he returns after Christmas; if so, I'll give you an appraisal.

Right, down to business. Vergina is most likely not intended as a cheeky genital mis-spelling, but is almost certainly named after the ancient Macedonian town of Vergina, believed to have formerly been the capital Aigai, and home to the Tomb of Persephone.

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Name: Bum Bum
Bought in: France
I've got a shite joke forming which involves Gaytime and Bum Bum, but I'm going to try and write something else quickly before it gets fully formed. Paul and Jane took great trouble to track this down on a recent holiday, and I've just had an email offering the possibility of a stawberry flavour version from Germany (the homeland of Bum Bum). But banana, as everyone knows, is the rudest of the fruits. Unless you count cucumbers, which cannot be disqualified on technical grounds.

Specs? It's an ice cream lolly with a stick of chewing gum in the middle - sheer marketing genius.

Anyway, if you don't fancy a whole Gaytime to yourself, perhaps you'd care to share my Bum Bum? (oops - sorry)

Posted by Cakehead at 09:22 PM | Comments (0)

July 25, 2005

Now you can cook your pizza while you sit in a traffic jam

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[From BoingBoing.net via Red Ferret]:

12–volt Pizza Maker. The Ferret can think of several trivial or important reasons why every geek-driven automobile in the civilised world should contain one of these majestic examples of high technology equipment. World peace is just one. $39.99.

* Plugs Directly into Your Cigarette Lighter Socket
* Unique Heating Elements Cooks from Oven Top and Bottom
* Use with Any Oven Safe Cookware

Posted by Cakehead at 03:31 AM | Comments (0)

July 23, 2005

Where to eat this weekend

Here are cakehead's hand-picked cheap eating & picnic opportunities around NYC:

Friday, July 22nd

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Alec Ounsworth at Pete's Candy Store
Pete's Candy Store won't be serving candy tonight, but the free music playing there will be like candy to your ears. Cakeheaders love to cook to the sounds of Alec Ounsworth of Clap Your Hands Say Yeah. Thanks Freewilliamsburg.com for this tip. For more information click here.

Brooklyn Country Music Festival
This weekend and next Brooklyn will be hosting its 2nd Annual Country Music Festival. "The Brooklyn Country Music Festival is a grass-roots effort put forth for the sheer love of the music. The bands work for tips. We hope you have a good time at this and several other events we put together including The Brooklyn Country Music Festival, The CasHank Hootenanny Jamboree, The Brooklyn Winter Hoedown, & JugFest. Alex also performs his own country compositions in his act called The Whisky Rebellion, which contains anywhere from 1-7 members, depending on venue constraints and the weather."
Date: July 21st - 24th and July 28th - 31st (schedule)
Time: Varies by day
Location: Freddy's Bar & Backroom, 485 Dean St. at Sixth Ave., Park Slope
Cost: Free

_____

Saturday, July 23rd

Special Birdwatching Cruise!
Take a guided tour through Brooklyn's only freshwater lake, the Lullwater, and check out some of Prospect Park's most scenic flora and fauna.
Location: Audubon Center at the Boathouse Noon, Flatbush Ave at Empire Blvd, Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Cost: $10, children $6.
Okay, so this event isn't free. But consider it an investment. Just make sure you bring a rifle to kill the birds you see. We have heard that pigeons and other Prospect Park birds make delicious meals. Feel free to submit your recipes.
_____

Sunday, July 24th

Kick It, Kick It Good
An oldie but a goodie...Join the fun and play some Kickball. Every Sunday in Brooklyn's McCarren Park there is organized kickball and bbq. Everyone is asked to bring a small donation to pay for the renting of the field and bbq.
Time: 6pm
Location: McCarren Park, N. 15th and Bedford, W'burg
Cost: Basically free

The Riant Theatre's Outdoor Strawberry Festival
Time: 11am–6pm
Location: The McCaffrey Playground, 43rd St between Eighth and Ninth Ave
Cost: Free
Okay some of the stuff listed at this event sounds questionable. Namely the singers, dancers, spoken-word artists and comics for storytelling, arts and crafts. But if you eliminate the accessories and take this event back to basics, it all comes down to the strawberry shortcake-eating contest. We expect to hear that one of you cakeheaders won this worthy contest.

Posted by Cakehead at 01:28 AM | Comments (0)

July 21, 2005

Thousands slaughtered, Condi's bodyguard gets a paper cut

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Survivor Party Poke Cake

We present a very special cake award this week. It is the Survivor Party Poke Cake Award (and no, this is not a recipe invented by the cakehead staff. Kraft is responsible for this masterpiece). No one is more deserving of this cake award than Condoleezza Rice for her remarks earlier today. Rice is currently traveling in Sudan. As we're sure you're aware, there is a genocide going on in the western Sudan providence of Darfur, which is presumably why Rice is there. Poor Rice, is so used to having to monitor and babysit the nursery school-like activities of the President, that she lost track of the task at hand. Rather than focusing on the ruthless slaughter occurring in the country which she visits, she's once again lapsed into her role as playground mediator. [From the Associated Press]:

Security forces in the Sudanese capital manhandled U.S. officials and reporters traveling with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, marring her round of meetings with leaders of the new unified government. Rice demanded an apology, and got it.

"It makes me very angry to be sitting there with their president and have this happen," she said. "They have no right to push and shove."

Rice, in her statement, not only takes a jabbing poke at the survivors of the genocide by shifting the focus of people who are dying to the security people whose job it is to be pushed and shoved, but with her super power abilities manages to distract the press from the real story: the reason Rice is in Sudan in the first place - the genocide. Way to go Condi. You've really earned the Survivor Party Poke Cake Award. Happy eating.

Posted by Cakehead at 09:25 PM | Comments (1)

July 20, 2005

Roving without dinner

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Hungry like the wolf

There's been a whole lot of eating going on in the White House lately. From patriotic cakes to the cobs of corn, seems like all the balding power brokers are stuffing their faces with the knowledge that the Rapture is near, prompting a no holds barred consumption of artery-clogging cuisine.
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Wolfie, Rummy & Cheney

The only person whose chewing sounds we can't hear are Karl Rove. Poor guy. Even Scooter Libby was invited to last night state dinner. But not Karl Rove. Check out what he missed. [From Drudge Report]:

Chilled Asparagus Soup
Lemon Creme
Chappellet Chardonnay Napa Valley 2003
Pan-roasted Halibut
Ginger-Carrot Butter
Basmati Rice with Pistachios and Currants
Herbed Summer Vegetables
Trio of Celery Hearts, Leaves and Roots
Hartford Court Pinot Noir Arrendell 2002
Salad of Bibb Lettuces
Citrus Vinaigrette
Lotus Blossom
Mango, Chocolate-Cardamom and Cashew
Ice Creams
Mer Soleil Late 2001

We're not sure if Rove's exclusion is self imposed or if it was a Bush decree. Our theory is Rove ran out of excuses and is now staging a quiet protest by fasting. Or maybe he just enjoyed a quiet night at home dining on jewish babies.

In other White House dining news, White House Pastry chef, Roland Mesnier, has gone on the record with a fastbreaking news story.

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White House Pastry chef, Roland Mesnier
White House Pastry chef, Roland Mesnier was caught on camera [to view use RealPlayer] assuring the American public that in his 25 years in the White House he has never caught a president engaging in between-meal snacking. If that's the case then what was the pretzel that Bush choked on? Breakfast? Is the pastry chef as untrustworthy as the President himself?

Posted by Cakehead at 05:26 PM | Comments (0)

July 19, 2005

Lessons in Mixology

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Mix Master George Delgado in action
We told you that the mixology craze has hit New York City hard. Tomorrow you can learn how to mix your own drinks from an expert. Warning: This event is not free. But we bet you can drink your $35 worth at the class. [From Litinform.com]:

July 20: Tomorrow's Classics - Creating Your Own Cocktail
Master of mixology George Delgado shares his methods for creating original cocktails at this seminar, presented by the Museum of the American Cocktail. See if you can create one called "the Gothamist." $35 per person in advance, $40 per person at the door. Register online. 5:30 - 7:30 pm, Ruth's Chris Steak House, 148 West 51st Street.

Posted by Cakehead at 04:03 PM | Comments (0)

July 18, 2005

The best things in life are free...

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the best place for guaranteed samples: the cheese counter

Grocery shopping, if done in the right place, can mean you don't really need to buy groceries. This weekend after grazing our way through the Union Square Green Market and then on to the Union Square Whole Foods, we discovered we hadn't spent a dime, but our bellies were pleasantly full of samples. We are now presenting a guide to the best free food samples in New York City and beyond.

samples.jpg The Best NYC Grocery Stores & Market Places for free samples:

Whole Foods: We particularly like the one in Union Square, because of the grilled fish samples served with attitude. It may be that we violate the most important grocery shopping rule of all: never shop on any empty stomach, but we've never tasted fish so perfectly cooked...or experienced such crankiness from a sample provider. You can always count on the fish griller to be lining up plastic ramekins filled with swordfish or wild salmon. But we warned. If you take seconds, he will hate you. Really, with him you can do no right. If you ask what he's cooking he'll grumble the answer. If you cower in fear, afraid to ask what you're eating he will say accusingly, "Don't you want to know what you're eating?" We recommend that you keep a low profile, take your sample, give a nod of thanks then go. However, you will want more than one sample. With this in mind we suggest that you show up with a few disguises. Hats, sunglasses and wigs are recommended.

Garden of Eden: The Village Voice said you don't even need to bring a lunch if you work near a Garden of Eden.

Forgetting your lunch money doesn't inspire the panic it used to as long as the upscale GARDEN OF EDEN groceries continue to lard their customers (and freeloaders cleverly disguised as customers) with such generous amounts of costly but costless delicacies. There's always a tray of fresh bread with olive oil for dipping. Near the bakery, baskets are stuffed with sample slices of semolina loaf or onion focaccia or, one glorious day, cinnamon brioche. On a good afternoon, sliced cheeses and meats are set out; on a great one, sushi is. And sometimes the stingy bakery counter even unveils wax-paper-wrapped morsels of sweet-potato tart or chocolate ganache.

Green Market: Even if the samples haven't officially been displayed, just ask if you can taste the box filled with fancy weeds. They love to offer up samples to admiring fans.

*A general rule: Even if you do not see the free sample lady stationed at the end of an aisle with her container of dipping sauce and breadsticks, know that you are guaranteed a delicious tasting tour if you make your way to the cheese counter. The cheese guy or girl is usually eager to engage in extended dialogue on the subject they know best. And our favorite part? They back up their arguments with truths. Facts in the form of flavor. Go ahead. Ask for a sample.

Free Dessert Samples:

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Godiva
Stop into a Godiva boutique and receive a free Chocolixir™ between July 21-24th. And what's better than one free Chocolixir? Free Chocolixirs all over town. There are thirteen Godiva boutiques in Manhattan. We suggest that you go to their website, print out the Godiva map and spend your July 21-24th traveling from boutique to boutique sampling your free Chocolixir. We want to know which shop has the best blend.

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Levain Bakery
167 West 74th Street
New York, NY 10023
Try a sample, dream about these cookies to eternity.

Chinatown Ice Cream Factory

65 Bayard St
The magic of ice cream shops is you can request a few different samples of flavors and then suddenly decide you really weren’t that hungry. This is our favorite place to buy ice cream. Sample the ginger ice cream and the lychee sorbet.

Fortunato Brothers
Italian Bakery
289 Manhattan Ave.
Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY
tel 718.387.2281
Not only is this John Gotti's favorite bakery, but we think they have some pretty good gelato. Ask them for a sample or two on those cute baby spoons.

Free Samples that some corporate entity will mail to you:

Cape Cod Potato Chips: If you turn 25 years old between July 1, 2005 and July 1, 2006, Cape Code Potato Chips will mail you a free bag o' potato chips.

Jelly Belly: Sell your soul, your email address and Jelly Belly will send you a free bag of beans.

Country Bob’s All Purpose Sauce: Reclaim your soul and get a free sample at the company that advertises that "Christ is our CEO." We particularly like this offer, because this sauce will render all other sauces unnecessary. Who needs chocolate sauce or soy sauce, when you have your free all purpose sauce.

Free samples in the rest of the country:

Wine and Spirits:

Astor Wines and Spirits
You can't go wrong with free wine, and that's just what this wine shop offers every day from 5 to 8 p.m.
12 Astor Place

Outside NYC
July 15-17, 2005 Finger Lakes Wine Festival
Watkins Glen, New York
Ranks among the largest wine festivals in the northeast and has gained attention from coast-to-coast. Once a year, the festival organizers transform the world-renowned road course into the site of one of the East Coast' s premier wine festivals. Red wine stains replace oil slicks, the smell of burning rubber is replaced with the delicate aroma of tannins and ripe fruit flavors.

July 22-24, 2005 - Bagelfest
Matoon, Illinois
Home of Lenders Bagels - world's largest free bagel breakfast, bagel
contests, entertainment, etc.

July 29-30, 2005 Altus Grape Festival
Altus, Arkansas
The 'Wine Capital of Arkansas' Grape Stomp Competitions, free wine &
juice tasting, free winery tours, amateur wine-making competition,
Bacchus Look-Alike Contest, juried craft show, food vendors, and more.

Posted by Cakehead at 11:23 PM | Comments (0)

July 17, 2005

Proof that NYC children are more horrible than golden ticket winners in Willy Wonka's Chocolate factory

1971chocolate.jpgChocolate River Before (1971)2005chocolate.jpgChocolate River After (2005)
So we really never had any intention of seeing the newest Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, although from production stills it appears that the 2005 chocolate river is creamier and richer than the earlier version. But we're content to live with the 1971 chocolate waterfalls and streams. This posting from Gothamist confirmed why we will wait until video. [From Gothamist]:

We saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the Oompas Loompas rule), and to our surprise, more disturbing than Johnny Depp's characterization of Willy Wonka was the behavior of some of our fellow moviegoers. During the afternoon showing full of adults and children alike, a young girl start to bawl during the movie. Not fun for the rest of us, but it happens. Except usually parents will usher a child out of the theater if the crying is excessive. But these parents let her cry for at least 10 minutes, before other moviegoers of the aggro kind started to scream, "GET HER OUT!" repeatedly. So the bawling girl's father takes her down to the middle of the theater...but doesn't take her out, letting her cry there longer. That's when an angry patron trying to get his $10.50 worth stood up and got in the father's face.

Posted by Cakehead at 10:11 PM | Comments (2)

July 16, 2005

Red Tideless Recipes

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To celebrate the red-tide infestation being over in Southern Maine and New England we are offering some delicious Red Lobster-like recipes for you to try. The recipes come from CopyKat.com whose tagline is You have tried it in the restaurant, now make it at home and we will show you how.

Since we can't stop thinking about the bottomless basket of freshly baked, warm Cheddar Bay Biscuits™ (even though we blame the bottomlessness of the basket as the reason we got violently ill during our last visit to Red Lobster), here is the mock recipe:

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Cheddar Bay-like Biscuits

Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuits
Ease of Cooking: Beginner
Notes:This recipe was sent in by Janelle.
Ingredients:
2 C. Bisquick
1/2 C. cold water
3/4 C. grated, sharp cheddar cheese
1/4 C. butter
1 tsp. parsley flakes
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. Italian seasoning

Preparation:
Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Mix together baking mix, cold water, and grated cheese. Cut biscuits with a cutter, and place onto a baking dish. Melt butter and seasonings together. Brush with the butter and spices and bake for 8 to 10 minutes. However, you cannot make the EXACT biscuits, because they have a special butter/garlic sauce that is not available to the general public. See how they are!!



And since we can think of no worse way to serve Lobster than in fondue form, we offer this recipe:

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Red Lobster Lobster Fondue
Ingredients:

2 C. Velveeta
1/2 C. Milk
1/2 tsp. Cayenne Pepper
1/2 tsp. Paprika
1 broiled Lobster tail or
1/4 lb. Crawfish tail meats
1/2 C. chopped Red Bell Pepper


Preparation:
Combine all in a saucepan, except the red bell pepper. Heat on low to medium heat until all is melted through. When ready to serve garnish with Red Bell Pepper, and some fresh parsley.

Posted by Cakehead at 04:12 PM | Comments (0)

July 13, 2005

White Castle Clinton Picnic

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Calexico Cuteness

We're going to make an assumption that you don't live in the Castle Clinton Area. But just because you can't call the castle region home, doesn't mean you shouldn't get the royal slumming-it treatment tomorrow. Tomorrow don't miss the chance for a double serving of castle magic which includes dinner and a band - all for under $5.

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White Castle map

First, stop at one of five New York City White Castles to load up with your cheap picnic dinner. We recommend ordering a few fish slyders or a sack of fish nibblers.

White Castle Locations
1. 525 8th Ave. (36th & 37th Street)
Manhattan, NY, 10018
2. 351 E. 103rd St. (1st & 2nd Ave)
Manhattan, NY, 10029
3. 781 Metropolitan Ave.
(Williamsburg) Brooklyn, NY, 11211
4. 21-01 Broadway
Astoria, NY, 11106
5. 43-02 Queens Blvd.
Sunnyside, NY, 11104

With a bag filled with your fast food castle meal head to Castle Clinton for the delicious and free music of Calexico. They go on stage at 7 pm, but we recommend arriving early since there are limited tickets. They will begin ticket distribution at 5 pm on a first-come, first serve basis and they will only give out two tickets per person.

Posted by Cakehead at 05:03 PM | Comments (1)

July 12, 2005

Meals of Convenience and the Inconveniently Timed Times

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Nina Katchadourian's "The Genealogy of the Supermarket

We were excited when we first saw Amanda Hesser's latest "The Way We Eat" column in last week's New York Times Magazine. Not only did the column give a history lesson on one of our favorite topics - convenience foods- but it also pointed readers to an art exhibit in the Sara Meltzer Gallery in Chelsea. It's an installation by Nina Katchadourian that maps out the very important relationships between some of our favorite supermarket celebrities.
[From The New York Times Magazine]:

In Nina Katchadourian's world, the Jolly Green Giant is married to the Indian maiden on Land O' Lakes butter and Little Debbie is sister to the Charmin baby. Mr. Clean and the Brawny Man are now partners and have adopted the Gerber Baby. Katchadourian recently offered these revelations in ''The Genealogy of the Supermarket,'' her 30-foot-wide wall installation displaying an imaginative family tree of American grocery-store icons.

From what we could make out from the image printed in the Times, the family tree explained a lot. We couldn't wait to take a cakehead fieldtrip to get further dirt on these icons we love so much. Sadly, the out of office excursion was thwarted when we did a little investigating.

It turns out the show closed two weeks before Hesser's article ran. Of course, we at cakehead should have done a better job keeping our eyes on all activities related to cakes. And I know it's not Hesser's job to be responsible for our cakeheading social diary. But the Times is a news organization. In other words, they should have run Hesser's column when it still had some relevancy, i.e. when the exhibit was still open for viewing. We should have learned our lesson long ago. The Times should not be relied on for anything related to the world of emerging trends in the arts and culture landscape. But you'll be fine if you just stick to Hesser's recipe for Service Cake With Victory Icing. Cakehead promised to do a better job letting you know how to eat your cake and view it too.

For West-Coasters, there will be a chance to view Nina Katchadourian's work in 2006. "The Genealogy of the Supermarket and Other New Works" will be on display at the Catharine Clark Gallery, San Francisco, CA. Check their website for exact exhibition dates.

Posted by Cakehead at 08:45 PM | Comments (1)

July 09, 2005

Flesh Eaters & Insect Meals: Montreal takes eating to the next level

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Hipster Zombie hunting for lunch in Montreal's Mount Royal Park

[Special thanks to FreeWilliamsburg for alerting us to the developing story about hipsters eating human flesh]:

It is widely known that the flesh of Dungeons & Dragon role players is particularly tender, so it came as no surprise when the hipster of Montreal transformed themselves into zombies and hunted down these delicacies in Mount Royal Park during the weekly role-playing romp. We are glad that hipster are taking the foodie lifestyle to the next level. The lifestyle had become too safe, too bourgeoisie. Foodies had become complacent. The time is right for the sampling of human flesh to begin.

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The bloody battle is part of the dining experience

What we especially like about this particular group of foodies is that while they have cutting edge palets, when the battle for human flesh is over, they can still take their mouths back to the basics, back to their roots. These foodies keep it real. While they know about the joys of the culinary adventure, they also appreciate the greatness of fast food. When their human flesh eating is through, they are not afraid that their integrity will be destroyed by eating the less taboo flesh of cows and chickens at McDonalds.

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But in Montreal the eating adventures don't stop with human flesh.

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Bee Omlette

At an annual eating event at the Insectarium du Montreal, there is an "Insect Tasting Celebration." We've been meaning to attend for years. And after Anna, the sister of a cakeheader, returned from an eating adventure in Thailand and Laos touting the magical flavors of critters and grubs, we wanted to attend this Montreal-based event even more. But once again, we missed the eating extravaganza. Here's a sampling of the menu:

On the menu:
Atta-wrap: Atta ants in a tortilla
Cool crickets: Roasted crickets served on a cucumber canapé
Bamboochetta: Bruschetta with olive tapenade and bamboo worms
From our grill: Barbecued walkingsticks and locusts
Entomobar: Darkling beetle snack bar
Cricket surprise: Jellied crickets

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Posted by Cakehead at 03:33 PM | Comments (3)

July 07, 2005

Recipe: Curds & Chamomile

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Sara fills tart crust with lemon curd

We decided to try something a little different for dessert this July 4th. Rather than taking the berry route - a route difficult to avoid if you want to pay homage to Old Glory through dessert - we went for subtlety, in flavor and in message.

Our dessert does not use red flavors of raspberries, cherries, strawberries, lingon berries nor will you find blue flavors of blueberries (grapes & blackberries if your guests are willing to suspend their state of disbelief). Our dessert is based not on color but on an experiment in pairing two flavors that we've never found together in a dessert. But if you're one of those people who has a full box of food coloring in your kitchen begging you to squirt away, and are still curious about the color, it's yellow. While we have some ideas about what the color represents, that's for a different column.

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Churning Chamomile Ice Cream

For this July 4th fellow cakeheaders, Sara and Amy, are making a lemon curd tart with chamomile ice cream. Sara made the tart & Amy made the ice cream. The recipes for both are below.

Chamomile Ice Cream
2 c. milk
1/4 c. whole dried chamomile flowers
1/2 cup sugar
4 large egg yolks
1/2 cup well-chilled heavy cream
Special equipment: an ice cream maker (see ** below for note on our opinion of certain types of ice cream maker).

Bring milk, chamomile, 1/4 cup sugar, and a pinch of salt to a boil in a pan, stirring, then remove from heat and let steep 30 minutes. Strain chamomile out of milk. For some subtle texture you can add 1/4 tsp of chamomile petals back into the milk.

Beat yolks and remaining 1/4 cup sugar in a bowl with a mixer until thick and pale, about 1 minute. Add milk mixture, beating until combined well. Pour mixture into reserved saucepan and cook over moderate heat, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon, until mixture coats back of spoon and is almost pudding-like in consistency(do not let boil). Immediately remove from heat. Chill mixture over night.

Stir in cream and freeze in ice cream maker. Transfer ice cream to an container and store in freezer at least 2 hours.

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Lemon Curd Tart

Sara's Lemon Curd Tart
I used a 12" fluted tart pan that the bottom lifts out of.
Lemon Curd
6 large egg yolks
6 large whole eggs
1 1/2 cups light brown sugar
1 cup fresh lemon juice
1/2 tsp salt
8 tbl unsalted butter, cut in pieces
grated zest of 2 lemons

Whisk eggs in a medium sauce pan, add sugar, lemon juice and salt. Stir
constantly while cooking over low heat in a heavy bottom saucepan with a wooden
spoon. Cook about 10 minutes, until the mixture coats the back of spoon.
Remove pan from heat, let cool slightly. If the mixture is lumpy, pour
through a strainer. Add the butter, a piece at a time, stirring until smooth.
Stir in the zest. Cover the surface with plastic wrap to prevent a skin from
forming. Let cool completely.

While the curd is cooling...

Cornmeal Crust
1 cup all purpose flour
1 cup yellow cornmeal
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1 tsp salt
8 tbl cold butter
2 large egg yolks
3-4 tbl cold water

Combine flour, cornmeal, sugar and salt in a large bowl. Cut in butter in
small pieces with a pastry cutter, until crumbly. Mix the eggs with the cold water.
Add to dry ingredients. Stir with a fork, until it becomes coherent enough to knead
together in the bowl. Add more water if the mixture seems dry. Press into a flat disk,
wrap in plastic and chill.

This crust recipe usually makes two 9" crusts, but I used all of it for the
12" tart.

When dough is chilled, roll out between sheets of plastic to about a 14"
circle. Transfer to the tart pan, sans plastic wrap. Bake in a preheated 350
degree oven for about 20 minutes, until it is just golden.

Let crust cool. Spread cooled lemon curd over crust. Chill until ready to
serve.

If your lucky, you'll have a smart friend make a lucious Chamomile ice cream
to go with.

**We recommend that you avoid the fancy new ice cream makers - makers that advertise that they have the freezer part built in. Buy the ice cream makers where you must add ice & salt as you crank. We made the mistake of using the freeze and pray brand of ice cream maker. You know, the kind that doesn't require ice or salt. Rather you must freeze the canister overnight and then pray that it doesn't run out of cold when you're churning the cream. In our case, our prayers were not answered. The frozen canister was thaw long before the ice cream was sufficiently hardened. Unfortunately, we don't have a soft serve ice cream machine so we stored the under-done cream in the freezer. There it proceeded to turn crystalline - giving it a nasty freezer burn consistency. Go old fashion. We suggest you select "Dirty Work" by Steely Dan in your iTunes, round up a crew of crank-willing friends, and make sure you have lots of ice and rock salt on hand to get that real ice cream consistency.

Posted by Cakehead at 03:23 PM | Comments (0)

July 06, 2005

I smell a rat cake

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Today, the staff of cakehead.com presents journalist Judith Miller with a very special cake to honor her courage and sacrifice in the face of terror.

We live in dark days. It is a time when zombies walk the halls of the executive, legislative and now judicial branches of our government. Judge Thomas F. Hogan hoped that by gnashing his bloodthirsty fangs and threatening a jail sentence he could turn Miller into a rat and put an end to a free press. But Miller didn’t allow this zombie to erode away the tenants of the First and perhaps most important Amendment in our Bill of Rights. She will go to jail. And for this, we present Miller with a rat cake. It’s ironic, yes. But sometimes that’s what you need to make those award-aspiring journalist pay attention.

With this new award it is our hope that we can prevent cake-loving journalist from turning into rats. Knowing this prestigious award could be theirs, we hope journalists will aspire to protect the confidentiality of their sources and continue to provide the checks and balances those zombies need. Not only will they keep the zombies in check but they will also get to devour this delicious cake.

For complete list of U.S. recipients of the Rat Cake Award go to The Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press

The Rat Cakes are made by Barbara Jo at Theyrecoming.com. Her hobbies include: “carving award-winning pumpkins, sculpting unwholesome 'Tragic Moments' figurines, and baking cakes that bleed, explode, or grow flowers while still tasting good.”

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yes, it's a cake. it's a thorax cake

She also makes a mean Thorax Cake that closely resembles George W. Bush’s abdomen after his latest recent klutzcapade. [from Drudge Report]:

PRESIDENT BUSH CRASHES BIKE INTO SCOT POLICEMAN DURING G8 REPRIEVE... A WHITE HOUSE SOURCE TELLS DRUDGE PRESIDENT SUFFERED 'MODERATE CUTS AND ABRASIONS'... POLICE OFFICER SENT TO HOSPITAL FOR POSSIBLE ANKLE INJURY. DEVELOPING...

Posted by Cakehead at 09:17 PM | Comments (4)

Ummm. Love that beefy smell

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We want to buy a car, just so we can hang this beefy goodness in it. Chuck Palhniuk has the right idea for promoting his new book Haunted. [From This Justin]:

At a recent book signing, Chuck Palahniuk gave out BBQ scented air fresheners, steak shaped shower mats, and flung artificial severed limbs into the audience knocking over drinks and beaming inattentive girls on the head in the process. We need more literary events like that.

Posted by Cakehead at 12:21 PM | Comments (0)

July 05, 2005

Haikus you can eat

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Why does the cutest edible art always come from Japan? We just love these combination photo/poems of/about Japanese kids' school lunch. [From justinspace.com]

Little bird made of rice.
Fresh eggs in her lettuce nest
infested with shrimp.

Below Justin describes his travails to get these poems and photos to us.

I went to Japan and took all these great photos for y'all but then a Northwest airlines baggage handler stole my luggage during a layover in Minneapolis. All my photos were gone (along with my roller blades, contacts, clothes, etc). Three months later my luggage was found in an abandoned barn in the middle of Minnesota, but, almost nothing of mine was left and what was smelled like cow shit. But damn-it, I was set on doing something about Japan so here it is, haiku poems about Japanese kids' lunches, "Crazy Happy Lunch!"

We couldn't help wondering what kind of meal Northwest served on the airplane that lost his luggage.

By the way, Justin says he's "single and enjoy fancy dinners and massages."

Posted by Cakehead at 10:56 PM | Comments (1)

Wanted: Candy Food Critics

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Generally we don’t advocate children or events for them. But with the Candy Critics
workshop scheduled for this Saturday, July 16th, we wish we had planned our family better 10 years ago. If we had, the kid would be just the right age and we would be able to attend what sounds like an afternoon of candy-filled heaven.

Are you an adventurous eater? Ever wonder what kids'll spoil their dinners with in 2048? Do you have strong feelings about Peanut Chews vs. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups? Here's your chance to show your stuff. Try some crazy candy and become a food critic of the future.

Warning: This candy will be weird. Not for the picky or faint-hearted. Please alert us if you are allergic to any food. Or old shoes.

If anyone has a 10-12 year old for loan or rental, please let us know.

Posted by Cakehead at 08:46 PM | Comments (1)

July 01, 2005

Different Lynches...both take the cake

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Dr. David T. Lynch gets a cake for his appointment to Dean of the Faculty of Engineering at the U. of Alberta

We just finished watching Twin Peaks (the mini series not the movie) - one of David Lynch's many masterpieces. Every time the series ends we feel that we lose a little piece of ourselves. That is why we had to wait a full 15 years since the 1990 premiere before we could bring ourselves to rent the series again. It's just too hard to say goodbye to our television friends when. Plus, Kyle MacLachlan's character, FBI Agent Cooper, who investigates Laura Palmer's murder, shares the same respect for pie as we do.

Now that the episodes are over, we're experiencing feelings of withdrawl - withdrawl associated with anything wonderful that one must say good bye to. But as our feelings were overwhelming us, we got a lead that pointed us to a great beacon of hope. The hope being the master himself: David Lynch.

Every morning you too can get the David Lynch Daily Update.

We hope you'll appreciate this report as much as we do.

Posted by Cakehead at 04:42 AM | Comments (0)