Eat good food as you earn their trust. Then, making sure to allow enough time before election 2008 to sway them to our side of the aisle, unleash the debates.

** Warning: Since it is unlikely that Jesus will make an appearance to turn your grape juice into wine, arrive at the church-sponsored meals prepared. Flasks of wine or scotch are recommended and necessary if you are going to do your good work without becoming overwrought with irritation.

Here are some of our favorite faith-based eateries:
Montgomery, Alabama: The prices at this religious kitchen can't be beat - at $4/adult.
Minneapolis, Minnesota: We recommend sneaking into this one, so as to avoid contributing your hard-earned income to the Republican agenda
Ocala, Florida: A cheap spot to eat a good Baptist supper & make sure Jeb's state doesn't go red again.
Savannah, Ohio: This state should have been ours. Eat at the Lion's Club pancake breakfast and stop them. Enjoy the music!